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Now that your gone, it's been hard. I can't stop thinking about you. Your smile, the way your eyes lightened. The way you used to say my name, rolling it off your tongue as if it was the sweetest wine. I am so lost without you.
I still think about that day in the gardens. Where the sun shined in your golden hair, and your blue eyes sparkled like water. And how you looked at me as I gave you that white flower, as if I had just handed you the world. And then you told me "Thank you".
Such a simple word, but love is a simple word too. And it's true, I loved you from then on. I knew you were my soul mate. Someone I could depend on and cherish for the rest of my life. I never dreamed I could lose you so early.
Then I think about the night I proposed, I took you onto that silly boat under the moonlight. And I put rose petals on the bottom of the boat, and when I bent down and asked you to be mine. I would give anything to take that moment and store it into a bottle and never let it
DeletedThese curtains are hiding the night
Hiding all that is right
Concealing a flame of truth
Shoving away a wisp of love
Ripping through the dark courage.
And the night falls,
until it is deleted with light.
Lost Without YouI'm lost without you
But even if I find myself,
i'll see you
every time I close my eyes.
I'm lost without you
Will it be so wrong,
to try and find myself again?
Just My Love L e t t e r.Dear You,
I've been thinking,
it's hard to breathe.
It's hard to breathe, because you're not by my side.
And I only want you beside me.
I don't want him,
All the time.
Yeah, I'm crazy.
Yeah, I'm crazy in love with you.
And I just had to think,
and I just had to tell you.
Because I love you.
I don't care if you feel the same about me.
I love you,
you can be with her.
Because I love you,
I want you to be happy.
And I feel jealous when I see her with you.
Sure, I shouldn't.
But I do.
I will let you go though.
Because I love you.
H o p e l e s sHopeless.
And with all my heart I try.
I can never be perfect.
Never perfect in your eyes.
I have no heart,
it burned long ago.
And left home.
My soul is black.
Black as night
I have no hope.
No hope deep inside.
I can't cry
I can't laugh.
So I must say good-bye.
I have no goal.
No goal is in sight.
And then I'll be hopeless.
And Now She F a d e sShe touched the blood.
The blood in the floor, the blood in the tub, and the blood in the sink.
They ask her why,
examining her in their fanciful offices.
Living their surreal lives.
They don't know what the real world is.
she knows the pain and the tears.
The blood, the scars.
And she asks them why?
Why don't they let her go.
Till she fades away, away.
They don't understand her world.
They never could,
no one could.
She just wants to bleed away.
She burns for forgiveness.
Begs and pleads.
Tears and screams can't help her now.
She only wanted love.
Only wanted friends.
She never understood why they laughed at her.
Why they hurt her.
Why they hit her, and kicked her.
What was wrong with her?
What was wrong with her smile, her laugh, and her body?
She looked like them.
She just didn't understand.
But now it's too late.
She can't hold on anymore.
Can't watch the blood down the drain.
So now she watches the blood seep into the ground.
but they can't laugh now.
I can't F l yYou're taking away my will to fly,
sure as if you bound my wings.
Tie me up,
tie me down.
Take my breath away,
break me away,
take me away,
I can't fly.
My wings are broken,
my heart is cracked,
my soul is shattered.
The cracks are showing.
I'm never here,
I'll never survive.
Break me away.
I don't have anything,
Take me away,
turn off the light.
As sure as when the sun is going down.
And let the dawn show me again,
breaking through the clouds.
Only to see,
You've taken away my will to fly.
Language of B e a u t yThose hooves that dance on the ground,
is it the hooves,
or is it my heart.
How does it dance.
How my heart and the hooves pound and dance.
How they intertwine and sing.
This, yes, this, is what captures me.
And what captures who we are.
How can they sing together,
how can they sing.
How do they dance,
but only in a dance as old as time.
Yes, it is beautiful.
Yes, it is.
How we touch the sky, and race the wind.
This is beautiful.
But only to the ones, who speak the language of beauty.
What do we fear?On her death bed,
I hear her ask, "What would we do, if we ran out of time?"
And so pale and far gone, she already knew the answer.
Her time had run out, and so I answered,
"We would break away, and climb the heavens."
She laughed as it made her cry still more,
"I know this answer. I know that my fears have come."
I replied, so softly, that it was only for her ears.
"And what do you fear, other than death."
She looked at me, so wise and sad.
"I fear that we'll run out of time.
Run out of the time that is so precious to us,"
I was confused, and I so young her so old. A gnarled tree, and a young sprout.
"Time is not what we fear. We fear death though."
She stared, her eyes so weak and her heart stuttering.
"Does our death not come in time? Do we not live by time.
What time we eat. What time we sleep. We fear no death."
And so she drew her last. And let it go with a sigh.
I understood now.
We don't fear death.
We fear time.
I AmI am single,
but I am loved.
I am not a genius,
but I am intelligent.
I am not breathtaking,
but I have beauty.
I am not a saint,
but I am kind.
To the world,
I am not perfect.
But for someone,
Two Years LaterShe asked him gently, “Do you love me?”
In his long silence, she found closure,
And left her love under a willow tree.
lung canceri will die with your name on my lips
because there is nothing else i'll need to say.
you are my coffin, my funeral pyre.
as my bones disintegrate, popping and snapping,
you will greedily swallow my ashes
until nothing is left of me but secondhand smoke.
i've danced with you, love, across hospital tile,
the scent of antiseptic cloying as valentine's chocolate.
you dipped me into unconsciousness,
and i willingly closed my eyes.
the intrusion of your scalpel teeth no longer scares me.
you, my rigor mortis soul mate, always take me under.
your tent of frostbitten shelter pulls me down, an anchor,
while i gag on pills too abstract to save me.
forgive me, lungs, of my cigarette abuse,
but i've found happiness in a reaper's cloak.
i find comfort in these carcinogens.
i've made my nest in a swaying tree,
my body destroyed by the nauseous rocking.
they smile at me with pity in their eyes,
scribbling nonsense on those jaw-like clipboards.
their crisp, stark white world still has faith in me,
you've been dead for a year, my deari met you on december 21st,
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.
holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.
You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't th
I give upSometimes
I try so hard to change for people
Do what they want,
Listen to their critiques,
Try to be a good friend..
But you know?
Everyone makes mistakes,
is not perfect,
is tired and stressed and slips,
It is never good enough,
no matter what I do,
nobody ever sees what I changed,
everybody always only sees my faults.
I get criticised for what I did wrong,
but never acknowledged for what I changed,
I give up.
I don't have the energy anymore,
to always justify myself,
to always go up and be the one,
that is bad,
to always be the one,
Sometimes I think I'm better off without anyone...
Eye of the StormI believed I could make the wind blow,
and force the moon to shine at night,
create rainbows just by thinking,
and hold tea parties for fairies in July,
I was the queen of my own graceful lands.
Yet, I grew old and realized,
I am the kind of girl who'd trip and fall,
often for stepping on her own feet.
My crown of diamond and gold
now a rusted piece of bronze,
I lost my throne to treason, my kingdom to hate,
I became the eye of a hurricane,
loaded with mishaps I need to atone.
I felt the soft touches of angels,
and lost my own wings to demons who could crush stone.
Felt the scorching tears run so often,
I knew I must have hit bottom low.
I had nothing holy, no one to call dear,
but here I am, the starting point of my own storm.
I felt fear, clung to shadows,
encased my heart within marble walls,
and threw the keys that can unlock my soul.
So many chances I've lost with no love to seek,
and so many people I turned my back to.
I let the darkness gnaw through my bones.
A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Blowing a featherThe way she blows this feather
All of them screw their knees,
Falling for her.
Blessed by a blue-eyed breeze
All of them crave an eternal embrace.
Gardens of golden flowers
Reflected stars on the water's surface
So many gifts she justly deserves
The rose-coloured feather,
Gift from heavens,
Brings daylight to a sinner
She's an angel without wings
Falling For Dream LiesI'm not your perfect dream
but I guess I can't help it
cause' your not mine either
oh wait, you didn't know?
your just a poor copy of someone else
yeah I am to you too.
I knew though,
so much for breaking my heart for revenge right?
I thought we might be able to have something,
but it shows how much I knew
Oh wait, Know?
Or do I know anything.
The sad thing is,
I did fall for you
hard, ha, no I was lieing when I said I was using you
shows what I get for love
Fell in love, ha, stupid me.
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More