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Now that your gone, it's been hard. I can't stop thinking about you. Your smile, the way your eyes lightened. The way you used to say my name, rolling it off your tongue as if it was the sweetest wine. I am so lost without you.
I still think about that day in the gardens. Where the sun shined in your golden hair, and your blue eyes sparkled like water. And how you looked at me as I gave you that white flower, as if I had just handed you the world. And then you told me "Thank you".
Such a simple word, but love is a simple word too. And it's true, I loved you from then on. I knew you were my soul mate. Someone I could depend on and cherish for the rest of my life. I never dreamed I could lose you so early.
Then I think about the night I proposed, I took you onto that silly boat under the moonlight. And I put rose petals on the bottom of the boat, and when I bent down and asked you to be mine. I would give anything to take that moment and store it into a bottle and never let it
DeletedThese curtains are hiding the night
Hiding all that is right
Concealing a flame of truth
Shoving away a wisp of love
Ripping through the dark courage.
And the night falls,
until it is deleted with light.
Lost Without YouI'm lost without you
But even if I find myself,
i'll see you
every time I close my eyes.
I'm lost without you
Will it be so wrong,
to try and find myself again?
Just My Love L e t t e r.Dear You,
I've been thinking,
it's hard to breathe.
It's hard to breathe, because you're not by my side.
And I only want you beside me.
I don't want him,
All the time.
Yeah, I'm crazy.
Yeah, I'm crazy in love with you.
And I just had to think,
and I just had to tell you.
Because I love you.
I don't care if you feel the same about me.
I love you,
you can be with her.
Because I love you,
I want you to be happy.
And I feel jealous when I see her with you.
Sure, I shouldn't.
But I do.
I will let you go though.
Because I love you.
H o p e l e s sHopeless.
And with all my heart I try.
I can never be perfect.
Never perfect in your eyes.
I have no heart,
it burned long ago.
And left home.
My soul is black.
Black as night
I have no hope.
No hope deep inside.
I can't cry
I can't laugh.
So I must say good-bye.
I have no goal.
No goal is in sight.
And then I'll be hopeless.
And Now She F a d e sShe touched the blood.
The blood in the floor, the blood in the tub, and the blood in the sink.
They ask her why,
examining her in their fanciful offices.
Living their surreal lives.
They don't know what the real world is.
she knows the pain and the tears.
The blood, the scars.
And she asks them why?
Why don't they let her go.
Till she fades away, away.
They don't understand her world.
They never could,
no one could.
She just wants to bleed away.
She burns for forgiveness.
Begs and pleads.
Tears and screams can't help her now.
She only wanted love.
Only wanted friends.
She never understood why they laughed at her.
Why they hurt her.
Why they hit her, and kicked her.
What was wrong with her?
What was wrong with her smile, her laugh, and her body?
She looked like them.
She just didn't understand.
But now it's too late.
She can't hold on anymore.
Can't watch the blood down the drain.
So now she watches the blood seep into the ground.
but they can't laugh now.
I can't F l yYou're taking away my will to fly,
sure as if you bound my wings.
Tie me up,
tie me down.
Take my breath away,
break me away,
take me away,
I can't fly.
My wings are broken,
my heart is cracked,
my soul is shattered.
The cracks are showing.
I'm never here,
I'll never survive.
Break me away.
I don't have anything,
Take me away,
turn off the light.
As sure as when the sun is going down.
And let the dawn show me again,
breaking through the clouds.
Only to see,
You've taken away my will to fly.
Language of B e a u t yThose hooves that dance on the ground,
is it the hooves,
or is it my heart.
How does it dance.
How my heart and the hooves pound and dance.
How they intertwine and sing.
This, yes, this, is what captures me.
And what captures who we are.
How can they sing together,
how can they sing.
How do they dance,
but only in a dance as old as time.
Yes, it is beautiful.
Yes, it is.
How we touch the sky, and race the wind.
This is beautiful.
But only to the ones, who speak the language of beauty.
What do we fear?On her death bed,
I hear her ask, "What would we do, if we ran out of time?"
And so pale and far gone, she already knew the answer.
Her time had run out, and so I answered,
"We would break away, and climb the heavens."
She laughed as it made her cry still more,
"I know this answer. I know that my fears have come."
I replied, so softly, that it was only for her ears.
"And what do you fear, other than death."
She looked at me, so wise and sad.
"I fear that we'll run out of time.
Run out of the time that is so precious to us,"
I was confused, and I so young her so old. A gnarled tree, and a young sprout.
"Time is not what we fear. We fear death though."
She stared, her eyes so weak and her heart stuttering.
"Does our death not come in time? Do we not live by time.
What time we eat. What time we sleep. We fear no death."
And so she drew her last. And let it go with a sigh.
I understood now.
We don't fear death.
We fear time.
When you lose a best friendWhen we said friends forever and
crossed pinkies like grade-schoolers,
I could only believe those words
lodged in your heart
like they did mine
because every time I think back
I can't help but remember the
under star lit constellations,
and study sessions where we
learned more about each other
than we did Biology
but now it's clear
that each beat of your heart
has made those words fade,
and you could care less
about crossed pinkies
but I'll still see you,
and hear your voice
and I'll still wish
the meaning hadn't changed-
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are struggling
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
She's an artistShe's an artist.
Always seems to be daydreaming,
She draws to escape her pain.
Cause for a single moment,
When her work is done.
It seems like there is no more rain.
And she could finally touch the sun.
The one that shines so brightly in her paintings.
But then it's gone,
So she keeps drawing,
She's become good at escaping.
Running from reality.
Because dreams are the only things she wants,
Her imagination is the only thing she's ever known.
And it's sad really...
Because she tries so hard to be happy.
But the most beautiful thing she could ever create.
Was that smile upon her face,
And that is the one thing that remains blank.
Waiting to someday be something more than,
Mommy Is A Super HeroMommy Is A Super Hero
Standing before his class, he held his tiny report,
“Who is your super hero?” Was written in yellow chalk on the green board.
Exhaling his breath, the curly haired boy closed his little eyes,
“Don't be ashamed of yourself” His mother's words rung in his ears, “And don't ever cry.”
He began to read aloud, with a shaky voice.
to his class, he told his mother's story.
At age fifteen, she was a beauty queen,
the most beautiful girl in all of the world.
She flaunted her silky hair, bore her bare legs,
prided her breast. The boys treated her like she was a treasure chest.
They respected her rules, they “looked, but didn't touch”,
but there was one older man, who from her, wanted too much.
All alone he met her, he approached her in the alley,
and all his mother told him, was that this man had treated her badly.
But what the boy didn't know was that she was taken against her will,
and that two months later, she turned up ext
Still HereSuicide is a
Thought that frequently lurks
In my mind, wich
Lets it overcome the
Laughter and happiness
Here I still fight, however
Enduring this sad life
Reviving my hopes
Embracing the gift of life
cenotaph of stormsthe first thunderstorm
was triggered by a blunt pair
of scissors, sparking violently
against the lightning,
shaking in the wind.
the downpour pierced,
tattooed with no ink but
the dark bleakness
of an overcast morning,
infiltrating uniformed wrists.
hid behind the music block,
shaky raindrops rioting
fears, she fractured.
the second storm
wept a two year downpour
outline that dripped from wrist
to hip, sidelong silhouette glances
obscured by the rain.
stalictidal waves shuddered
frozen, until icy glass
fell in stained shards from
the stillness inside.
thinner, brittler, growing
in flurries of sleet and hail,
her outline was never filled,
though the floods threatened
the third thunderstorm
was a mist-ridden melancholia,
a dream for permanence
smeared in ink through
fueled by the hope
that just this once,
the rain would spark a
rebirth beneath the ground.
instead, a tsunami
washed away the ink
as tides so often do.
At peace within this tranquil garden,
I picture the moments where I've made you smile.
Those times are endlessly precious to me,
I think they're worth the while.
They're worth the time I've spent with you,
Even if it wasn't long.
I only wish I'd spent a little more,
Before our love was gone.
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
Falling For Dream LiesI'm not your perfect dream
but I guess I can't help it
cause' your not mine either
oh wait, you didn't know?
your just a poor copy of someone else
yeah I am to you too.
I knew though,
so much for breaking my heart for revenge right?
I thought we might be able to have something,
but it shows how much I knew
Oh wait, Know?
Or do I know anything.
The sad thing is,
I did fall for you
hard, ha, no I was lieing when I said I was using you
shows what I get for love
Fell in love, ha, stupid me.
five hour energyi suppose
last week was only an aftershock
of the earthquake you were before.
this place used to vibrate
with metal strings and melodic,
testimonies to life,
emitting coffee-scented moods
and the burn of it too.
i had memorized the
sounds of silence,
i couldn't help but relish it.
no longer had i known
the sounds of folk
and scent of mocha-
you became nothing more
than an echo of the laughter
i so desperately needed to hear again.
then the echoes got louder,
bouncing ferociously off the walls
to be made manifest
i walked into your room
expecting exactly what i found-
an unmade bed,
and an empty beer
(the one that you insisted you needed
just days ago).
i pressed my nose
into the pillow
for incense and cologne and starbucks
to penetrate my mind
and thinking fervently
i already know
what a clean sheet smells like."
how strong an aftershock can be,
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More