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Now that your gone, it's been hard. I can't stop thinking about you. Your smile, the way your eyes lightened. The way you used to say my name, rolling it off your tongue as if it was the sweetest wine. I am so lost without you.
I still think about that day in the gardens. Where the sun shined in your golden hair, and your blue eyes sparkled like water. And how you looked at me as I gave you that white flower, as if I had just handed you the world. And then you told me "Thank you".
Such a simple word, but love is a simple word too. And it's true, I loved you from then on. I knew you were my soul mate. Someone I could depend on and cherish for the rest of my life. I never dreamed I could lose you so early.
Then I think about the night I proposed, I took you onto that silly boat under the moonlight. And I put rose petals on the bottom of the boat, and when I bent down and asked you to be mine. I would give anything to take that moment and store it into a bottle and never let it
DeletedThese curtains are hiding the night
Hiding all that is right
Concealing a flame of truth
Shoving away a wisp of love
Ripping through the dark courage.
And the night falls,
until it is deleted with light.
Lost Without YouI'm lost without you
But even if I find myself,
i'll see you
every time I close my eyes.
I'm lost without you
Will it be so wrong,
to try and find myself again?
Just My Love L e t t e r.Dear You,
I've been thinking,
it's hard to breathe.
It's hard to breathe, because you're not by my side.
And I only want you beside me.
I don't want him,
All the time.
Yeah, I'm crazy.
Yeah, I'm crazy in love with you.
And I just had to think,
and I just had to tell you.
Because I love you.
I don't care if you feel the same about me.
I love you,
you can be with her.
Because I love you,
I want you to be happy.
And I feel jealous when I see her with you.
Sure, I shouldn't.
But I do.
I will let you go though.
Because I love you.
H o p e l e s sHopeless.
And with all my heart I try.
I can never be perfect.
Never perfect in your eyes.
I have no heart,
it burned long ago.
And left home.
My soul is black.
Black as night
I have no hope.
No hope deep inside.
I can't cry
I can't laugh.
So I must say good-bye.
I have no goal.
No goal is in sight.
And then I'll be hopeless.
And Now She F a d e sShe touched the blood.
The blood in the floor, the blood in the tub, and the blood in the sink.
They ask her why,
examining her in their fanciful offices.
Living their surreal lives.
They don't know what the real world is.
she knows the pain and the tears.
The blood, the scars.
And she asks them why?
Why don't they let her go.
Till she fades away, away.
They don't understand her world.
They never could,
no one could.
She just wants to bleed away.
She burns for forgiveness.
Begs and pleads.
Tears and screams can't help her now.
She only wanted love.
Only wanted friends.
She never understood why they laughed at her.
Why they hurt her.
Why they hit her, and kicked her.
What was wrong with her?
What was wrong with her smile, her laugh, and her body?
She looked like them.
She just didn't understand.
But now it's too late.
She can't hold on anymore.
Can't watch the blood down the drain.
So now she watches the blood seep into the ground.
but they can't laugh now.
I can't F l yYou're taking away my will to fly,
sure as if you bound my wings.
Tie me up,
tie me down.
Take my breath away,
break me away,
take me away,
I can't fly.
My wings are broken,
my heart is cracked,
my soul is shattered.
The cracks are showing.
I'm never here,
I'll never survive.
Break me away.
I don't have anything,
Take me away,
turn off the light.
As sure as when the sun is going down.
And let the dawn show me again,
breaking through the clouds.
Only to see,
You've taken away my will to fly.
Language of B e a u t yThose hooves that dance on the ground,
is it the hooves,
or is it my heart.
How does it dance.
How my heart and the hooves pound and dance.
How they intertwine and sing.
This, yes, this, is what captures me.
And what captures who we are.
How can they sing together,
how can they sing.
How do they dance,
but only in a dance as old as time.
Yes, it is beautiful.
Yes, it is.
How we touch the sky, and race the wind.
This is beautiful.
But only to the ones, who speak the language of beauty.
What do we fear?On her death bed,
I hear her ask, "What would we do, if we ran out of time?"
And so pale and far gone, she already knew the answer.
Her time had run out, and so I answered,
"We would break away, and climb the heavens."
She laughed as it made her cry still more,
"I know this answer. I know that my fears have come."
I replied, so softly, that it was only for her ears.
"And what do you fear, other than death."
She looked at me, so wise and sad.
"I fear that we'll run out of time.
Run out of the time that is so precious to us,"
I was confused, and I so young her so old. A gnarled tree, and a young sprout.
"Time is not what we fear. We fear death though."
She stared, her eyes so weak and her heart stuttering.
"Does our death not come in time? Do we not live by time.
What time we eat. What time we sleep. We fear no death."
And so she drew her last. And let it go with a sigh.
I understood now.
We don't fear death.
We fear time.
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
now i see the stars.there was a time when i
couldn't catch my breath whenever i
thought about you , (crippled lungs and-
boy, you hit me like an asteroid,
there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,
oceans of my tears cried on
nights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.
thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,
i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,
for a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,
weighted to the ground and
buried in myself, but
where there is no light there are no shadows, and
sometimes, i wonder if i miss me.
yes, yes i do.
i may not see the moon, but
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
Falling For Dream LiesI'm not your perfect dream
but I guess I can't help it
cause' your not mine either
oh wait, you didn't know?
your just a poor copy of someone else
yeah I am to you too.
I knew though,
so much for breaking my heart for revenge right?
I thought we might be able to have something,
but it shows how much I knew
Oh wait, Know?
Or do I know anything.
The sad thing is,
I did fall for you
hard, ha, no I was lieing when I said I was using you
shows what I get for love
Fell in love, ha, stupid me.
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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